I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
