she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
