I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
