ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Watching her eat just hurts me
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
