I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
