What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
