I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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