is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
