I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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