I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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