Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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