he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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