i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
