Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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