Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
