she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
