the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
