So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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