Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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