It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
