Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I got inside last night via doggy door
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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