I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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