I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
