I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
