READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
