I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
