i think i have herpe
just one?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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