so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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