My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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