It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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