spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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