I cockslap morals
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
