Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
