what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
