If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
