"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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