For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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