So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
