I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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