shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
