well I can't set my house on fire every night
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
