I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
