I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
