So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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