hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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