I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
