this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
