Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
