Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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