i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
