actually, I'm a sock model
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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