it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
