I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
