ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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