Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
