take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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