My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Who died my cat blue again?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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