Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize