Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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