i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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